John
13:31-35
“By
this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one
another.” [John 13:35]
That
verse is so simple, and such a minefield!
Just
start with the word “everyone”. There’s
no doubt that the world judges Christianity as a whole, and within that
specific denominations or local churches or individuals, on the basis of how
closely we do or do not live up to the ideals of Jesus. There’s no doubt that we judge each other by
that same standard. We may even apply it
to ourselves. And we inevitably fail.
I
hate that, especially when it’s used as a pretext for criticism from people who
at the same time claim not to care about faith at all. It begins, often, with someone whose behavior
or worldview is called into question by Jesus’ words or by the ideals that the
Church espouses becoming defensive, and going on the offense in response. “Who are you to criticize me? Look at how you people live!” Then follows a laundry list of sins and
failures and reminders about famous Christians who have done some terrible
things.
I get
that. I really do. Only a fool would try to excuse all that has
happened in the past two thousand years.
If it’s any consolation, I would just point out that we’ve never claimed
to get everything right and, at our best, we have had the grace (by which I
mean the help of God) to listen to critics both inside and outside of the faith
community and to say, “Thank you. We
need your input to stay honest.” I would
point out that the Bible itself talks about the temptations that come when we
are anything less than genuine about our witness. The book of Acts tells how the earliest
Christian community included a couple named Ananias and Sapphira who wanted
everyone to think that they were the most selfless and sacrificial of givers,
whole-hearted supporters of the work of the Kingdom. When Peter saw through them, he declared,
“You
did not lie to us but to God!” [Acts 5:4]
Ananias was suddenly struck down dead and then about
three hours later so was Sapphira. You
would think we’d get the message about trying to make ourselves look good by
means of religion, but it still goes on, though without the sudden divine
punishment. The only way you can
exonerate the Church from sin is by ignoring the Bible and history and probably
the witness of your own eyes and ears.
Any
attempt to put the Church up on a pedestal is a form of idolatry. Of course, when the Church’s critics do
exactly that, they are setting up an idol of their own, but doing it so that
they have an idol to knock down rather than one to worship. Whatever the purpose, though, it involves
making a false claim that replaces God in someone’s heart or mind.
So I
would say that one of the best things we can do in answer to our critics is to pay
attention to them when they have a point, and otherwise to ignore them. Otherwise we get drawn into a game that we
have neither the expertise nor the time nor the energy to play when we have
more important and better matters in front of us. Specifically, there is this whole business of
loving one another.
So
let’s be clear about a few points.
There’s
a difference between liking each other and loving one another. Liking often has to do with the sense of
having something in common. We find that
we are “alike”. We find the same things
sad or funny. We enjoy similar
activities or have similar interests.
Our cultural backgrounds are similar.
We share the same references. I
can ask, “What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen sparrow?” and you know to
respond, “African or European?” If you
don’t get that, all I have to do is say, “It’s a joke from Monty Python,” and
you know to roll your eyes.
Loving
has to do with appreciating another person for being different. For the most part, men and women fall romantically
for someone who works on a vastly different emotional system, influenced by
hormonal differences that they learn to manage within their relationships but
managing is probably the best they will ever be able to do. You know that a man is truly in love with a
woman when he lets her choose the movie on date night. You know that a woman is truly in love when
she does not suggest that a man use his GPS.
These are stereotypes and generalizations, I know. Everyone has their own examples, though.
Non-romantic
love works the same way in that it appreciates and honors those who are not in
the same column as we are, sometimes in very important ways. That is where Jesus really puts it on his
disciples when he said,
“Just
as I have loved you, you also should love one another.” [John 13:34]
When he assembled his inner circle of disciples he
consciously included people who were very unlike one another. Simon the Zealot was from a group dedicated
to wiping out people like Matthew the tax collector. John had tremendous faith, and Thomas needed
to see things with his own eyes. They
had support from women like Mary and Martha, two sisters who got on each
other’s nerves because Martha was a workaholic and considered her sister lazy.
Once
the Holy Spirit got the Church going, the original disciples, who at least all
shared a religious and cultural background as Jews, found themselves trying to
figure out what to do when Gentiles wanted to join in. These were people who did not speak their
language or have any idea what they were talking about when they referred to
people from the scriptures, and who didn’t much care about what happened in
Jerusalem.
We
still deal with that kind of challenge.
How do you – how do we – incorporate into our life people who don’t go
all gooey when they hear “Just As I Am” or know why we have all kinds of
committees or wonder what the connection is between green-bean casseroles and
the kingdom of God? (And, yes, there is
a connection, which is a whole different sermon.) How do people who come down on different
sides of political or social issues – MAGA people and Bernie Bros – find
themselves required by Jesus himself to love one another?
Again,
we’re supposed to love one another as Jesus loved us. His love was a costly love. It wasn’t about what he got out of it, but
what he put in, and that was his entire self and his entire life, and
ultimately it meant going all the way to a cross. When we have that kind of love, the trivial
stuff drops away.
Let
me read you part of someone’s commentary on that kind of love, a commentary
that’s often mistakenly applied to romance.
“Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or
boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not
irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in
the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things.” [I Corinthians
13:4-7]
When that kind of love
is there, people see beyond the immediate and obvious faults and flaws that we
have. They know that we are limited, and
if we are wise we also admit that.
Instead, they see a deeper and fuller reality that outlasts the
rest. They see a whole that is greater
than its parts. They see a Savior who is
bigger than the institutions built by his followers.
“Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come
to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to
an end. For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but
when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. When I was a
child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child;
when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a
mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then
I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope,
and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.” [I Corinthians 13:8-13]
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