"A Pesky Friend" - July 28, 2013

Luke 11:1-13

            Barry Levinson’s classic movie, “Diner”, includes a scene where four friends are sitting together in the booth of a diner late at night.  In the middle of their discussion, one of them finishes up his sandwich and pushes his plate back a little and one of the others says,

“Are you going to finish your fries?” 

“Do you want a fry?”

“I’m just asking if you’re done.”

“No, if you want a fry, go ahead and take one.”

“I didn’t say that.  I just asked if you’re going to finish them.”

“So do you or don’t you?”

“What?”

“Do you or don’t you want some fries?”

“Well, if you’re not going to eat them… but that’s not what

        I was saying.”

“That’s exactly what you were saying.”

“Did I say that?”

“You didn’t say that, but you said that.”

“I just wanted to know if you were finished.”

“Have some gravy, too.”

Those may not be the exact words, because I tried to recreate the scene from memory, but that was clearly the conversation.  I don’t know about you, but some of my old friends and I have had it many times.

            Maybe you have someone like that in your life.  Maybe there’s someone you have known forever who isn’t shy at all about asking something that nobody else would.  It might be couched in coded terms, but it is there.  “Are you going to finish those fries?”  “What are you doing next Saturday?”  “About your chainsaw…”

            Has it ever occurred to you that when you or I pray we may be exactly like that annoying friend?  Jesus told a parable about that.

“Suppose one of you has a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; for a friend of mine has arrived, and I have nothing to set before him.’” [Luke 11:5-6] 

(It’s interesting that the pesky friend apparently has another friend who does the same thing to him.) 

“And he answers from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door has already been locked, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, at least because of his persistence he will get up and give him whatever he needs.” [Luke 11:7-8]

            When Jesus teaches his disciples how to pray, he teaches them to be direct and open.

“He said to them, ‘When you pray, say: Father, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread. And forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone indebted to us. And do not bring us to the time of trial.’” [Luke 11:2-4]

He even mentions the need for bread that this parable centers on.  It’s as if he were saying, that God is the sort of friend you can bother at midnight, then he’s the sort of friend you don’t have to beat around the bush with.  If God can handle having dysfunctional friends like us, surely he can handle us when we act maturely and reasonably and approach him directly and without manipulation.

            Of course, that means being ready for a mature response from God. 

“Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for a fish, will give a snake instead of a fish?  Or if the child asks for an egg, will give a scorpion?” [Luke 11:11-12]

A mature response might not, if we’re honest, always be the one we ask for.  There’s a country group named “Jaron and the Long Road to Love” that has a song called, “I Pray for You”.  It says:

“I haven’t been to church since I don’t remember when.

Things were going great ’til they fell apart again.

So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do:

He said you can’t go hatin’ others who have done wrong to you;

Sometimes we get angry but we must not condemn.

Let the good Lord do his job.  You just pray for them.

I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill.

I pray a flower pot falls from a window sill

And knocks you in the head like I’d like to.

I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls.

I pray you’re flyin’ high when your engine stalls.

I pray all your dreams never come true.

Just know wherever you are, honey, I pray for you.”

You can be pretty sure that God is not going to answer that sort of prayer favorably. 

The thing is that sometimes we pray for something that really would not be good for us, if only we realized it.  To use the same idea of friendship that Jesus used, it would be as if you had a friend who was drunk and who had left his keys in a coat that you had hung up for him.  He would be welcome to his coat, or to a place on the couch, or to a ride home, but not to his keys.  The answer is, “No.”  That’s not because you don’t care, but because you do.  If God does not agree to everything we propose, it does not mean he is uncaring.  It may mean that he does care, and (again, should be stating the obvious) simply knows better than we do.

Ultimately, prayer should be about conforming ourselves to God’s will, not trying to convince God that we know best.  It’s a matter of learning to say, “Your kingdom come,” [Luke 11:2] and not mean, “My kingdom come.”  It’s a matter of learning to say, with the hymn writer,

“I ask no dream, no prophet ecstasies,
No sudden rending of the veil of clay,
No angel visitant, no opening skies;
But take the dimness of my soul away.

Teach me to feel that Thou art always nigh;
Teach me the struggles of the soul to bear.
To check the rising doubt, the rebel sigh,
Teach me the patience of unanswered prayer.”[1]

            Having said all that, God’s desire is always to bless, and he will surely do that, in his own way, the best way. 

“So I say to you, Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” [Luke 11:9-10] 

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[1] from George Croly, “Spirit of God, Descend upon My Heart”.